Eat, Pray, Love

I watched it finally. In bed. Alone.

Everyone told me it wasn’t very good so my expectations were pretty low.

Afterward I internalized most everything. I always do. I am the center of my universe as you are the center of yours. Life.

So, honestly I was feeling pretty blue because I realized that many people in my universe would really be better off if I was not in their universe. Kind of earth shattering.

Reminds me of when Saac and Ben spent the night at Kelly’s once upon a time and she scolded me in the loving way that only Kelly can. “Pam, why doesn’t Saacer know how to cut his own meat? I mean for heavens sake he is 5-years-old!”

Now I often look at my actions and wonder if I am cutting someone’s meat when they so clearly could and should and would if I would just get out of their way.

It is hard to admit that there are many people in the world that would be happy, and dare I admit it, happier if I or you weren’t around… ever again.

Kind of sobering.

That and other self-revelations prompted bathroom crying. Thank goodness for showers that drown tears and the blubbering sound I am prone to make.

I still managed to eat, pray and love. All three swallow self-loathing and sorrow. Kind of like chocolate and Dr. Pepper. Both of which have been voluntarily removed from my daily diet. The sacrifices I make for…me!

Now I need to get out of my own way. That is always most difficult.

Good thing I have low expectations.

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Comments

  1. DaNelle

    Haha Great post! Sorry to be amused by your experience, but it makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only one who does that too.

    p.s. are you sick of Julia Roberts yet?

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