I Am Enough

BY PAMELA BOWMAN MESA ARIZONA USA – Logging — I sit and watch and record events of the movies and I remember the essence of Zambia. I try to concentrate and pay attention to what may be useful for the films and then a scene occurs or a moment is recorded and all the emotion I was feeling at the time floods back to me. I sit and let those feelings embrace me. I smile.

Last night I was reviewing the Danny concert. I showed my kids how they danced and sang. I wanted them to listen to the sound of Africa. Instead I sat in my chair and started dancing myself! I realize they will never understand what I experienced in Africa. Sometimes I do not understand what I experienced in Africa. I just know I am different.

Sometimes I feel I have edited my own life. My feelings prior to Africa seemed all consuming. I would hear songs or moments would flash into my mind and those feelings would consume me. I have learned that feelings are feelings and if I want to get through them I have to allow myself to feel them. I can’t fight them. They are feelings. They are my feelings. I have learned that eventually one day you might wake up for a sunrise and send your feelings away and they obey. Those all consuming moments become a faint fond memory. They become a smile.

pamsmilingsm.jpgAfrica taught me to be patient. It taught me that I cannot do everything for everybody. I can do enough and others will do their share and at the end of the day it is time to dance and play and laugh.

The crew says I seem happier now that I am home. They say I don’t seem so stressed.They attribute it to my husband and children. Certainly there is truth in that, but I also believe I am happier because I am more me. I am less of everyone else. And that is enough. I am enough.

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Comments

  1. ivy

    I would realy love to see this documentary and I can hardly wait, please let me know how long this will take. I am a Zambian living in Massachusetts. I’m so glad you guys had fun! Can’t wait to go back home, you made me miss it so much! And congratulations for the job well done!

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