Just a Theory

I have a theory.

Ok. I have lots of theories.

But consider my observation…

Through years of study I noted that anyone who remodels their kitchen experiences a financial hiccup in their life.

So with that premise, I hypothesize that the kitchen is the heart of the home. Literally. It will tolerate replacing a new appliance when that appliance has cease working. It can adjust to one new fixture at a time. It can grudgingly accept paint or wall paper, but I assert that if you rip out old cabinets, counters and appliances, paint and repair, well you will experience financial repercussions. It is irrelevant if you have saved for these alterations. A kitchen is it’s own world and it abides by it’s own rules.

To prove my theory I agreed to remodel our kitchen. We ripped out the old oiled soaked oak cabinets; we removed the lovely blue Formica countertops. We replaced the dishwasher and stove and microwave. We christened the room by lighting up our deep fryer and allowing the rancid oil to seep into the virgin maple wood. We liked to just walk in the kitchen and look at it. We smiled with pride. You know the kind that appears before the fall. We enjoyed baking again. We enjoyed eating in the room again. We enjoyed a false sense of security in our momentary lapse of judgment.

Six months later… unemployed.

The scientific research substantiates my theory. It is now a universal law. Don’t mess with the heart of your home. It will bring you to your knees.

Possible alternative solution: build a new home from the ground up. Make sure you love it because you should never attempt to remodel it once it has the blood (from skinned knees, paper cuts and sliced vegetabales) sweat (from chasing babies and then being chased by teen-agers around the table) and tears (from laughing until you pee your pants and crying for the same reason.)

If in doubt… In six months we can sit down at your lovely new expandable table and open up your first 5 lb. can of hot chocolate you packed away in food storage.

Just a theory….

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