Permission to Hate

Many years ago I gave permission to someone I love to hate someone.

It was empowering.

In my defense, the other individual, without knowing me at all, decided on first meeting that he did not care for me. From that moment on, at every opportunity, he discredited me. Now I know this because years later people told me what he had said about me. And because of his station in our society people willingly adopted his opinions. He gave them permission to hate.

In time and with shared experiences they discovered I was a decent human being after all. It was difficult to overcome and frankly still is.

I felt his animosity toward me. I felt it was unwarranted and so I chose to dislike him as well. I would utter derogatory comments at every chance encounter. Those around me were now influenced by my feelings and one day one of them told this man off, in public.

This brought me pleasure.

I wanted him to feel humiliated and shamed. I wanted him to realize he was not any better than me. I wanted my “tribe” to hate him and they did.

It starts there. Giving permission to others to hate. Our mutual hate superficially bonds us. Like a pack of animals hunting the weak and infirmed, until the pack turns on you because you have become the hunted.

With our study of history and human nature you would think we would learn how uncivilized that behavior is. You would think we would evolve into more decent human beings. You would think.

It could end by choosing love instead, encouraging love and if not love, how about the benefit of the doubt and common courtesy. Granted, that takes more effort, but I believe it makes us more humane.

Truly empowering.

Truly joyous.

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