Somebody Unimportant
Everywhere, Iapplied
Arizona, USA
Dear Body,
Thank you for your letter(s) over the last few months. After careful consideration, I heretofor inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me the position I applied to in your company.
This year I have received an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite your obvious qualities and skills in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection letter does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will be arriving to work Monday morning promptly at 8:00 a.m. Please have someone there with my key and employee paper work ready to fill out. I would like to get that taken care of before 10:00 a.m. I look forward to seeing you then.
Continued luck in rejecting other applicants.
Sincerely,
Pamela Bowman
PLEASE tell me you actually sent this to somebody.