BY PAMELA JO BOWMAN – MESA, ARIZONA – Having a child, raising a child allows human beings to know what unconditional love really is. One of the most challenging aspects of parenthood I have encountered so far has been watching my children grow into adults and choose a companion. I am unable to see into these strangers’ pasts to know what life experiences they have and know what those experiences have taught (or failed to teach) them about commitment, love and marriage.

There are some young women who do not love themselves and so are incapable of loving another human being fully. It has been my sad experience to see my sons hurt by such young women. In my opinion, when you “really” love another human, you are as committed to their happiness as you are to your own. And they in turn are fully committed to your happiness and fulfillment. When you have experienced that overwhelming feeling of love for another person to the point that you prefer to spend your time with them and, if it is not possible to spend your time with them, then you want to spend your time on their behalf, well then “you love them something awful.” It is that feeling that is worth waiting an eternity for and not a moment less! Those are the moments when you know you “really” love another.

When that feeling is not reciprocated then it really isn’t as deep and profound as it should be. When two people find that space, that bubble, that intimacy, anything is possible. Without it nothing seems probable.

I know my sons and daughters will experience a love that is profound and sacred one day. They will feel the difference and be inspired by it and will recognize the counterfeit. Their life experiences are reinforcing their knowledge about commitment, love and marriage. And it is reinforcing mine as well. I know those that truly love me will never deny me. They will always defend me, protect me and remain loyal to me as I am to them. After all, “I love them something awful.”